7/29/2004

It would be
easy to say
I
waited too long
to undertake
materialization
but
that would be
misleading
because
devoted to the goal
since childhood
though
older now
and feeling diminished
this morning
by time and effort
life after presence
still waiting its turn
too aware
the end could arrive
before a beginning
I wonder
if
there might have been
a better way
and will never know.

7/28/2004

I
met today
with
a man
and woman
in positions
of power
to plead
for justice
a crime
unintended
committed
against my person
steps already taken
to better my situation
but was told
more than that
was
out of the question
a higher power
deaf
the explanation
we do not fit
in
the man
sympathetic
but firm
the woman
cordial
but put out
neither
with resources
for life outside
a narrow interpretation
of the facts
leaving me
on my own
for solace
and solution.

7/25/2004

Sitting
on a rock
above the
still morning lake
the rising sun
warm
on my left cheek
reading
hope
assuring me
all is not
necessarily lost
but if
in the end
that is the way
things
sort themselves out
it will not be
because
I was powerless
to affect the outcome.

7/20/2004

I
don’t think magic
is the right word
but without it
the minions of reason
assure us
that vanishing
and not reappearing
anywhere
at death
is the best
we can
look forward to
not
put like that
a happy thought
but
the fourth word
mentioned earlier
should not be
confused with illusion
because
extravagant as
imagination can get
it is still
only a disguise
for what
we already know
donned
because necessary
to get our attention
turned to
what has
for some reason
been
to our detriment
ignored.

7/19/2004

Awoke at
4 AM
in the middle
of
a crisis of faith
having followed
to the best
of my understanding
divinely whispered
instructions
regarding certain choices
intimating
if not promising
I would not
be disappointed
yet
the distance now
between laughing stock
and dreams come true
is paper cut thin
turning back
no longer an option
as I approach
an outcome.

7/18/2004

Several of us
met at twilight
men
women
friends and strangers
so invigorated by
our conversation
with one another
that we decided
to walk and talk
on the way to
a timely event
of mutual interest
at
the other end of town
rather than drive
before realizing
this pleasure
had its own difficulties
as it would be late
when the event
ended
and
returning to our homes
on foot
in the middle
of the night
group spirit worn down
would be no fun
which
though
we continued walking
took the wind
out of our sails
even as it seemed
what awaited us
in the near future
was a consequence
we would be able
to live with.

7/17/2004

I
turn off the lights
and
sit in the dark
eyes wide open
looking at
what inspires
our antic behavior
amazed that
in the absence
of curiosity
we are not
more accident prone.

7/6/2004

Black hair
brown skin
smiling face
he wasn’t from
around here
but with gifts
like his
there was no need
to wait in line
which
he hadn’t known
and when told
said
he was happy
where he was
but
aware now
of other possibilities
made him wonder
if
he might not prefer
going where
he could
more easily make
the most
of what
he had to offer.

7/4/2004

Big enough
to cow most
he broke down
the distance
for all of us
between loss
betrayal
their siblings
and naked terror
then
drove a sword
through crucial organs
real and imagined
to prove
we can survive
the truth
without smoke
or mirrors.

7/2/2004

With the wind
filling our sails
and
cunning on the mend
a dummy tack
gives us the edge
by the grace
of all that appears
now and then
death
smiling in defeat
a gracious loser
who can wait
for the next go around
to win.

7/2/2004

Love is
the only illusion
that counts
she said
and he knew
quibbling
would only lead
to disappointment.

7/2/2004

No taller than
a short shrub
the man served well
the high and mighty
decades longer than
most marriages last
literate
cultured
fluent
in several languages
and
well aware of
the many toes
often exposed
where incidents
were likely
he was a prince
among the prickly
who said
don’t worry about
wanting
nothing more than
creature comfort
whirlwind adventures
more bother than
exciting
the recent death
in your inner life
a necessary preamble
to reanimation
a toll
you can afford to pay
and I listened
saying nothing.

6/28/2004

The man
in tatters
a bobble of
loose ends
too frayed for
any enterprise
beyond holding
body and soul
together
walking upright
a line
neither straight
nor narrow
but
going in
the right direction
has earned some slack.

6/26/2004

The
occupying tanks
roll on
over another
outstretched body
perhaps
already dead
bystanders
helpless
screaming
a prayer said
in the absence of
more say
in the matter
as I hurry home
wanting to be there
when
my daughter wakes up
eager to get on with
her life
wonderful
even if
I do not
fold her
into my arms
and kiss her face
this time
before she is
out the door
the sight
sound
and presence of her
in the house
good as gold.

6/24/2004

We
look at ourselves
far more often
than anyone
cares to believe
and on occasion
behold gods
winking back at us
aware of the difference
between reality
and vanity
whether
admitting as much
to ourselves
or anyone else
the effort
when all
is going well
to understand
who we are
and
how we can help
while tending to
our own needs.

6/24/2004

Joined
at birth
cut in two
soon after
what
had to happen
but
still close
following separation
one living
40 years
in the limelight
the other
40 years of
hard time
learning the lessons
relevant to each
for reasons
never divined
both
turning in
good work
on
a regular basis.

6/22/2004

Movies
validate
the importance of
our
ineradicable dreams
which
far too often
get neglected
erotic
nightmarish
and other
but
live theatre
like
all things living
makes us aware
we are awake
as well
and
that two thirds
of our time
on stage
is also important
to celebrate.

6/22/2004

Couldn't help
dreaming about
a trio of witches
standing in
for
an old friend
busy elsewhere
thoughtful of him
considerate of them
making certain
I stay informed
regarding
recent efforts
to achieve
desired ends
and while
much of what
was said
had the clarity
of gibberish
they managed
to make me feel
I had nothing
to worry about
the benefit
sleeping though
undisturbed
'til daybreak
a worthy likeness
of good news.

6/14/2004

The sound
closer now
a great chorus
and orchestra
not yet filling
the air
everywhere I go
introducing
the many faces
of sadness
before showing me
the way out
not
to some other place
entirely
but a condition
of being
that includes such music
in the company of
considerably more
arousing a desire
to hear it through
a second time.

6/13/2004

They call it
mutiny
because
the ship is
in their name
but
when a crew
of children
warriors
and diplomats
threatened with
annihilation
are transformed
into poets
voicing their refusal
in language
even tongue twisters
cannot distort
presumption
of ownership
will not stand up
in court
title passing to
the outcry for
something
that sustains.

6/11/2004

Another blind
orphaned genius
laid to rest
a soul who knew
where he’d been
and
what it meant
doing
what he did
able to light up
a room
where before
there was only despair
his sense of self
by definition
what some say
does not exist
gone now
but not before
his job was done
the goods
still with us.

6/10/2004

It is not
enough
to survive
one must live
as well
she said
if possible
an eternal truth
even for misfits
and
what’s his name
the time keeper
memory
will periodically
like it or not
remark
on your progress
in achieving
the purpose
bundled
in the package
making its mark
as you.

6/3/2004

I heard about
a man
yesterday
unmarried
and
without children
never wanting to be
tied down
who looks
much younger
than his years
living in
a tropical paradise
doing
each day
as he pleases
moving
contentedly along
as he puts it
in the slow lane
and
while I can imagine
such a man
he is a creation
so different
from myself
that
I can
without envy
wish him the best
and move on
in the direction
of my own
earthly paradise.

6/2/2004

I asked
and
she told me
disregarding
my predilection for
taking care
of business
as it comes up
that
offspring from
the marriage of
art
science
and religion
not
what I had
asked about
require
an upbringing
grounded in
respect for
an habitual need
to wipe the slurry
of grit
from the blade
being sharpened
which was all
I wanted
to know
though certain
on hearing
if this news
fell into
the wrong hands
it
would be abused.

6/1/2004

Today
the day of
the serpent
I slithered over
griddle hot ground
making my way
from
one embattled comrade
to the next
helping them
helping myself
get through
more
terrible moments
intact
the worst
we can recall
since
the last
great war
and while
we were
unscathed
when
the head count
was taken
at the end
of the day
a price
was paid
that can
easily be
denied.

5/31/2004

How many times
must we
circle the block
before
the indispensable
unassuming object
we have sought
is found
where
it has always been
in plain sight
completing
what is needed
to take us
where
we are going?
Just asking.

5/27/2004

I am aware
we may be
killed
in our beds
on the road
in some
particular building
or other place
for liberties
repeatedly taken
throughout the world
with the golden rule
which grieves
angers
and frightens me
the possible
premature loss
of my life
or that of someone
without whom
my life will be
diminished
but
despite the distraction
I have
not been excused
from
lifting that bale
and
toting that barge
to make ends meet
until such time
should that time come
when
I can
turn my attention
to making
what is rarely seen
amidst
the foolish doings
that preoccupy my species
until it is time
to join
the dearly departed
knowing the show
will go on.

5/26/2004

Angelina
came to
my beside
of her own
volition
in a
disheveled state
late at night
when
deep in sleep
I felt
a hand
grip my arm
with no idea
who it was
but
fearing the worst
because of
the hour
and my vulnerability
cried out
terrified
struggling to
wake myself
wanting to see
what had
come for me
and discovered her
standing
unmoving
in the middle
of the room
a mute tale
from head
to toe
of
unaddressed need
looking at me
no harm intended.

5/24/2004

Poetry
I read
in
the daily rage
threatens to
break your heart
jolt you awake
and
alter your vision
but
I know
for a fact
that’s
just for openers.

5/24/2004

Enough
uncut diamonds
filling
my cupped hands
to overflowing
changed my
station in life
from poor
to
a little rich
after appropriating
on my own initiative
less than
the rule of thumb
finder’s fee
before turning over
the remaining fortune
I had stumbled upon
to its rightful owners
located
at my own expense
perhaps a crime
even knowing
had I kept
buried
or
thrown them away
those who had
lost track
of their belongings
would have nothing
and
having reached an age
that
makes it impossible
to believe there is
a natural gratitude
in man
it seemed more right
than amiss
rewarding myself
for services rendered
including
a modest tariff
of guilt
and the discomfort
that would accompany
any questions
with regard to
the missing stones
I know nothing about
not
an unreasonable price
to pay
for transcendence.

5/23/2004

Not allowed
to move chairs
or tables
from
their set positions
left me empty handed
in a landscape
otherwise hospitable
food aplenty
good wine
with conversation
easy
and satisfying
a time for
licking one’s wounds
clean
while recalling what
we live
and die for.

5/21/2004

I
closed the door
in his face
and locked it
an ineffectual effort
as he
put his shoulder
to the wood
pushed
and
even though
I was holding back
from within
the door gave
and he entered
as if no lock
or resistance
were present
cool
irresistible
no tendency
to viciousness
in him
doing a job
that
had to be done
holding me
struggling
in place
pruning clippers
appearing in
his free hand
I feared for
the painful loss
of
something precious
but when
he held up
a strip of cloth
with my name
printed clearly
on it
the kind of notice
parents
sometimes secret
on a small person
it was as if
everyone knew
myself included
who I was
concerns for timing
laid low
which
made me wonder
in
the thick of it
what
all the fuss
was about.

5/19/2004

I
ride my horse
alone
along
the mountain trail
where
others have gone
before me
I discover
when I see
the
stack of saddles
abandoned at
the beginning of
the narrow
walk way shelf
leading across
the mountain’s
sheer drop
and
with the
point of departure
clearly marked
I dismount
unsaddle my mare
who has
brought me safely
so far
surprisingly sure
despite my fear
of heights
that
I can
lead us both
to
the other side
which I do
putting
my old mare
out to pasture
there
after
a long life
of service
able now
to get around
on my own
two legs.

5/18/2004

After
thirty-five years
of
ring around the rose tree
she is gone
and
despite our differences
a hole
has been kicked
in my stomach
by her disappearance
what's in the cards
my teacher said
that
we must endure
continuing to become
who
in the beginning
we pretend to be
on our way
vanishing at last
into
the ungraspable.

5/16/2004

Two
fields of energy
separated by
and bridging
a middle ground
the impression
opening
closing
both
the entire canvas
top
to bottom
side
to side
electric
subatomic
biochemical
dynamics
enlivened by
quick
old rhythms
a relentless
guitar playing
gypsy jazz
contending with
superfluous
moral considerations
sticking their nose
into someone’s
struggling business
without a warrant
refusing to
move on
before
pontificating about
a person’s livelihood
and individuation.

5/15/2004

The child
born yesterday
or
the day before
grows quickly
running everywhere
now
blonde curls
down
to her shoulders
she understands
the danger
and does
without question
as she is told
narrowly escaping
with her mother
through
the back door
of the old
polished wood bar
we ran into
as I turn to face
a deranged figure
with curved blades
attached to his fingers
slashing at me
as I jump back
scooping up
a drop cloth
of canvas
from the floor
to snag and tangle
his blades in
when he
rushes at me
again
wrestling him
to the floor
tying his hands
so he cannot move
without cutting himself
to ribbons
a threat put to rest
forever
with an abruptness
that leaves me
triumphant
and disconcerted.

5/13/2004

I
caught the landscape
watching
my every more
and felt relieved
rather than afraid
knowing
I was not alone.

5/11/2004

Others
are saying
prophetically
though
I have wrestled
with
a resolute opponent
for
so long
I can
no longer remember
what
life was like
before this adversary
entered the picture
I am about
to get a reminder
which inspires me
to
hope and pray
that
is a good thing.

5/9/2004

As
the con unfolded
revealing
one deception
and betrayal
after another
wholesale innocence
more prevalent
than expected
apparent victims
revealed
as perpetrators
a
great good heart
proved to be
the most far sighted
skilful conniver
of all
and
disturbed as I was
by the truth
I found myself
rooting for
an outcome
I couldn’t put
my finger one.

5/2/2004

I
ask myself
who often knows
what
I am too eager
to admit
if
it is time
yet
to enter the stone
I can't wait
to transform
but myself
who
I am beginning
to trust
in matters of timing
says
with tenderness
understanding my longing
no
not quite yet
but
very soon
and
the energy that jigs
down my legs
helps reassure me
that
I will walk again.

5/1/2004

They
picked blackberries
unhurriedly
as if nothing
were more pressing
than what
they were doing
at that moment
not their many hopes
and dreams
or
the flag covered coffins
containing
boys and girls
though
many more boys
than girls
whose loss
too many
could not imagine
when there was
still time
to stop
what
came to pass
which is why
I was relieved
to see the
quiet slow dancing
by the side
of the road
proof
sanity is possible.

4/30/2004

The
long night
was punctuated
with
panic attacks
I
mostly recognized
for
what they were
but this
was another
of those instances
in which
primordial fears
swallow consciousness
whole
like Jonah
disappearing
into the belly
of a beast
better times
waiting
down the road
after recovering
from an experience
he
would never forget.

4/27/2004

Looking forward
to
a walk
among the snakes
free
at last
not immortal
or impervious
but acclimated
to their existence
serpents
attentive to
not being in
the wrong place
at
the wrong time
me
watching my step
in the place
I recognize
as home.

4/26/2004

If
I had a shovel
with
a long enough
handle
and
a place to stand
I might
be able to
unearth
what’s hidden
but
since none
of those prerequisites
have been met
I must act
as if
I couldn’t be
less concerned
or
even aware
of
what is buried
giving it
the opportunity
to surface
on its own
surprise
you didn’t know
did you
I’ve been here
all along?