9/4/2003

I watched Tipsy
stagger
into the pub
unsure
what to order
in the face of
all that
has to get done
whether one
wants to
or not
and took a seat
by myself
keeping
to the shadows
still and quiet
allowing time
for what is
coming down
to finish falling
into place
before making
any effort
to intercede with Tipsy
who does great work
when no one
is trying to
whip him into
a shape
at odds with
the one
he is doing
his share in.

8/27/2003

I write
these songs
prayers
hymns
inquiries
the gospel truth
for myself
alone
because
I have to
and
sing them
for you
also
because
I have to
which is
not to say
that
neither act
pleases me.

8/27/2003

Small children
contented
and so full
of things to say
they spill out
in cooing voices
barely intelligible
sounds
that make me
smile
when done laughing.
Memory
gives birth to
musing
and the heart
sorts through
what
to the head
is confusing
until
hand in hand
lovers
find a way
together.

8/26/2003

They say
she is fierce
not evil
but capable
of knocking heads
together
and hurling spears
with great accuracy
a side
I never thought about
but have surely seen
and
taken for granted
a part of the whole
I am drawn to.

8/26/2003

She said
not upon
her deathbed
but before
according to
her obituary
if you awake
after sixty-five
at the outside
without some
aches and pains
to work out
on rising
it is because
you are dead
and
don’t know it
a story
I related
over breakfast
to a woman
only somewhat
hard of hearing
who said
she is eighty-eight
still unable
to accept
being old
laughing though
because
she heard me.
There is strength
still
in your laughter
I said
and she answered
it is worse
to complain
that one is old
unless
it gets you
out of doing
the dishes
I added
making her
laugh again
and promise
she would
remember that.
I thought
later
what might matter
most
is at least
engaging each season
regardless of our discontent
and
if resolution
should result
perhaps
it is the same
as it was
when young
a mix of wonder
and satisfaction
as much
a thing of grace
as any labor
we have performed.

8/24/2003

She
came to him
when
he was ripe
with desire
a longed for blessing
the price
for her favors
an end
to hiding.
Introducing himself
properly
to everyone present
with whom
he had a past
ended
a long running masquerade
eyes widening
breath catching
signs of
understandable surprise
his disclosure
nonetheless
a welcome
clearing of the air
explaining
without more words
moments shared
with one
and another
of those
who were gathered.
He had
never been
a more serious danger
to any
than himself
and everyone
at some time
feared for his life
but
knowing who he was
changed everything
for the better
eliciting
a sigh of relief
from the future.

8/23/2003

They say
some of us
are born
to be
always
one step behind
but
as consolation
are
occasionally able
to
see through walls
a propensity
once discovered
that ameliorates
the desire
to catch up with
the rest
of the herd.

8/23/2003

Even following
in the footsteps
of those
who have
already gone
in your direction
and made it through
there is a need
to break certain rules
with all due respect
because no one
ever passes
the same way twice
which means
a time will come
when
you have to bed down
at the foot of
the impenetrable
for warmth
back
to the wall
protection from the unkind
and other elements
until
realizing
you are not fooling
the impenetrable
more often than not
graciously opens up
to let you through.

8/14/2003

Having done
my best
to get the right people
for the job
I got
out of the way
so they could
get on with
rebuilding the world
still not perfect
but better
an improvement
new roof
tub
driveway and deck
that will better support
our endangered species
than
the hard edge
everyone
has come to expect
pushing and shoving
as if life
worth living
is expendable.

8/13/2003

Saw it coming
out of the corner
of my eye
too late
lost my bearings
stumbled into
the open furnace
and got burned
again
in spite of
knowing better
because
just like last time
I spent
a restless night
out of control
I never had
praying for help
to anyone listening
swearing
I would never
do again
what
I had done
wrong
if
I can help it
just let me
make it through
the night
sleeping soundly
for several
consecutive hours
but
my prayers went
unanswered.

8/12/2003

A moment
of inattention
then
one of those
terrible accidents
in which you kill
your sister
or brother
and other family members
reducing your heart
to embers
rendering your destiny
something other than
it might have been
as
in the devotion
of aftermath
you undertake the work
of forgiveness
making amends
and
the miraculous reconstruction
of
what was broken
but perhaps
not beyond repair
if you can divine
what it is
to be human.

8/10/2003

He told me about
his composition
for
an 80 voice men's choir
singing all the parts
to himself
before
putting them in place
the work
now lost
and
of having no illusions
about
being in control
of anything
other than
keeping his truck
on the right side
of the road
which
put me at ease
during my meeting
that afternoon
with
an African woman
who
massaged my shoulders
thumbed my palms
and told me
I was beginning
again
my lifeline
trail blazing
down and around
my hand
80
90
100 years old perhaps
a long safari ahead.
I need to take
good care of myself
she said
kindly
recalling her early life
at the foot of
Kilimanjaro
which
you are not allowed
to climb
without first
giving a dollar
to the person
at the gate
behind her home
she said
laughing
and
I swore that
I would gladly
pay up.

8/6/2003

Life among
living shadows
takes some
getting used to
even
just passing through
not only
the streets without names
on a post
or building side
but the sadness
water sliding
under the bridge
on its way
out to sea
a necessary leave taking
if loneliness
is to become
an occasional visitor
rather than
a property owner
whose presence would
ruin the neighborhood.

8/1/2003

Marco was
a clever boy
who thought
he had done
a clever thing
stealing Gina's heart
while she was sleeping
but
when she awoke
with a start
and discovered
what was missing
she gave
no quarter to
understanding
in her pursuit
of the person
she knew
had taken
what
did not belong
to him
soon
closing fast on Marco
who
realizing
his sorry ass
was
in big trouble
tossed his stolen goods
into the air
and
kept running
a good decision
for Gina slowed down
to catch her heart
tenderly
putting it back
into the absence
created
when
it was taken
giving Marco
the time he needed
to disappear
a close call
teaching him
something important
about
where to draw the line.

7/31/2003

Annie got
her hands on
Howard's gun
because her own
was in the shop
and
that's when
the fun began
I
heard people say
because
Annie knew
what to do
with
a loaded weapon
and
she was in
no mood
for
being trifled with
after
another long day
among
too many fools
when she headed
downtown
minding
her own business
but
without a drop
of human kindness
left
for anyone
who
might give her lip
which
no one did
until
she was heading home
again
and a man
saying
he was president
of
the United States
began pestering Annie
for
no apparent reason
and
while she made an effort
to
wave him away
the fool
pressed his luck
forcing Annie
to pull out Howard's gun
in self defense
sending the man
running for cover
from
a hail of bullets
not one of which
nicked him
though
the sight took
the hard edge
off
Annie's state of mind
a smile on her face
as dusk
dimmed the day.

7/29/2003

They
accused him of
a high crime
treason
murder
or plagiarism
I think
something warranting
harsh punishment
and yes
after hearing
all the testimony
it was clear
he was guilty
with
extenuating circumstances
no one having said
he was a saint
or
if they did
they now see
that was a mistake
the entire matter
settled
out of court
to the satisfaction
of those
most concerned
another piece
in the puzzle
of creation
falling
noisily into place.

7/28/2003

He awoke
in the night
not sure if
he was naked
or dressed
and since
there seemed
to be strangers
in the room
moving
in the shadows
of a cityscape
confusing
and familiar
he was reluctant to
get out of bed
seeking
what he needed
until self consciousness
made him aware
that
if he did not
own up
to
having certain powers
the likelihood
of his survival
would be nothing
to bet on
which
settled the matter
for
having gotten the message
he lay back down
closed his eyes
and
let the world
spin around
a while longer
without him
enjoying the feeling
of timelessness
he wasn't yet willing
to give up.

7/25/2003

Speeding to Paris
in
a bullet train
gives me time
to look out at
the countryside
of Province
and other places
the day after
having been in Arles
where Van Gogh
spent years
painting
the storm within
into everything
he did
realizing
understanding
having come
in the night
that
like his paintings
all life bristles with
sexual vigor
root
of its appearance
and
continuing survival.

7/16/2003

We watch from
our lookout
high
above the city
as the sheet of
gray black rain
sweeps across the sky
toward us
flashing and thundering
its arrival
on the wind.
We
hit the street again
strolling away
down
the Champs d'Elysees
stopping for a scoop
of
first rate ice cream
which I eat
while
thinking about
a recent business dealing
in which
I trusted someone
who betrayed me
in the night
prompting me
to make threats
that were useless
because
I would never
carry them out
while he underwent
a change of heart
making good
on the promise
he had broken
the whole matter
leaving me exposed
and shaken
until I see
the head of
John the Baptist
hanging
from the hand
of Salome
by the same man
who painted
the Mona Lisa
coming up
down the hall
these pictures
transporting me
bone tired
as I am
until
at last
the day is done
and
I can rest.

7/15/2003

Miles to go
from the sidewalk cafe
after two cups of
cafe au lait
walking Paris
from
Notre Dame to Sacre Coeur
Saint Chapelle
the Pantheon
stopping at a boulangerie
to buy bread
for the day
the musees
Rodin
Pompidou
Cluny
Picasso
the Louvre
and D'Orsay
the Arc de Triomph
Bastille Day
and fireworks
along the Seine
with
far too many people
pressed
close together
a full moon
visible
between the legs of
the Eiffel Tower
buying great cheese
and delicious
inexpensive wine
before visiting
the French opus
on excess
to which we shuttle
on metro and bus
Versailles
made me bilious
though
its gardens provided
a respite
the solitary fox
seen
down
a tree lined lane
more appealing than
the surfeit of
self congratulation
by men and women
so pleased
with themselves
they
brought their country
to its knees
the occasion shared
with family and friends.

7/14/2003

We are using film
too fast
on our first evening
in Paris
photographing Notre Dame
bathed in warm light
the Seine
and everything
along its banks
the Pantheon
and one another.
To be young
in Paris
tonight
seems
still
to be a
wonderful thing
though too late
for me to know
first hand
nonetheless
here at last
I am
able to say
better late than never
by far
for
Paris makes
a good first impression.

7/11/2003

He is not
a pretty picture
and
the things
I have
seen him do
convincingly
in films
touch upon
my
best kept fears
but
when we met
I told him
how much
I admire his work
and
he nearly
talked my ear off
in pleased
voluble response
forcing me
to excuse myself
before
he wore me
completely out
something
about fear
put here
for my entertainment
and other pieces
of a picture
not quite in place
trailing after me
as I left.

7/7/2003

I walk down
the long hall
with its
high vaulted ceilings
nodding to
Shakespeare
as he might
well
have looked
Aristotle
alert
and impatient
Plato
Socrates
the look of
a pub brawler
Demosthenes
his days of stuttering
behind him
Swift
Cicero
others
who did their best
to take
a good look at
what
we are all doing
in
the great mixup
having just seen
a fine lot of
colored drawings
and text
altar architecture
they call it
luminescent
done by
a handful of
Celtic scribes
and artists
in the 9th century
then
on to
the cheese monger
for a wedge
that will last
several days
before passing
the great green
metal vault
of a door
closed and locked
somewhere
in the labyrinth
of alleys
on our way
out of town
if all goes well
to a tomb
more than
5000 years old
fully lit by the sun
only
once a year
on the day
perhaps
when the dead
cross over.
Oh
the things
we have seen
and will see
before our stay
is over.

7/3/2003

There is singing
in the abbey
the cathedral
the great hall
in the castle
even though
the queen is unable
to attend
and
more voices
in the street
in many languages
converging
a chorus of sound
less confusing
than I
would have thought
to ear and heart
but when
I close my eyes
they
snap open again
before
I can sink
into
a deep sleep
standing up
still as a tree
when there is
no breeze
I
nonetheless
seem to be
moving
not
toward anything
for
I have arrived
at the familiar
and
strange place
I recognize as
my destination
with friends
and loved ones
who feel
much
as I do.

6/27/2003

There is activity
all around me.
Saws
cutting lumber
into
the necessary lengths
for building something
that offsets
what
is being destroyed
elsewhere
in the great
softshoe
and tune
way of things.
I do my best
to hum
and shuffle along
forgetting the tune
now and then
when
my mind wanders
after something
perhaps miraculous
that
has caught its attention
causing me to improvise
a step or two
just enough
to keep my balance
until
I catch up with
the song and dance
again.
I know
the others are
looking for me
concerned that
without them
I might forget
to tie my shoelaces
when
they come undone
and end up
in more trouble
than I could
possibly imagine.
They
know me well
and are right
to be concerned
but sometimes
you
have to
go it alone
nothing heroic
taking a chance on
what you see
and hear
off in the distance
business
of the heart.

6/26/2003

He realized
closing the door
behind him
that
he had taken
a wrong turn.
He said
good morning
introduced himself
and explained
what
he was doing there.
She seemed
harmless enough
diminutive
smiling
quick
in her movements
but when she spoke
a frenzy of words
from
a mind tormented
swarmed toward him
stinging things
frantic
having lost their way
and certain
because
he had spoken
of his own volition
that
the fault was his.
He stopped speaking
realizing
reason incensed her
backed away slowly
opening the door
behind him
slipping through
before
she could say
another word
a narrow escape
clothing
no protection
his body
he discovered
was swollen with venom
in many places
a lesson
he never forgot
about
paying attention to
which doors
one chooses to open.

6/24/2003

I was on board
a ship
the size of a city
when
it set sail
walking the deck
with other men
women
children
cats
and dogs
the ocean breeze
teasing our hair.
I was listening
when
the man said
there is more
going on
than we are
ever going
to get right
and
having taken that
to heart
I now seek
for company
those
who have reached
the same conclusion.
Sailing to that shore
where
certitude ends
and
curiosity begins
I cannot help
but smile
at all
the wonderful things
I have
left behind.

6/23/2003

I met her
in a dream
of her own
making.
She would
she said
when she felt
herself entering
a time of drifting
untied
from everything
get on one plane
after another
flying great distances
first class
leaving
all she thought
she knew
about herself
others
and the world
we inhabit
until
the dream ended
and
she awakened
to wherever she was
which seemed to explain
how
I had gotten
to where
I was sitting
with no recollection
of exactly what
I had done
to reach a destination
to nowhere
in particular
able now
at last
to relax
among flora
and fauna
with lives
of their own
on my way
to a place
unknown
until my arrival.

6/22/2003

We
cannot help
that
it is our way
to pick up
our belongings
and continue
each day
at first unable
even to crawl
certain
we are eternal
though
not yet able
to speak
eventually learning
sometimes
far too soon
that
we will die
a complete surprise
and never know
just what that means
travelers
nomads
coming to an end.

6/21/2003

It was
a silent crime
of gestures
well rehearsed
so each
of the four
conspirators
understood the others
without a word
being spoken.
Not
a crime against nature
they knew
if caught
the cost
would be
swift
and final.
They
appeared to be
shadows
using tools
that made no sound
but when
they had finished
their work
the small steel door
was open wide
and
the bag of gems
inside
was theirs
for the taking.
Having what
they came for
they left everything
as they found it
except
of course
for
the handful of
something precious
which now belonged
to those
who had
no intention of
bragging about
what
they had done
making quiet
but effective use
of the freedom
they had won.
They went
their separate ways
keeping in touch
through the years
until
only one was left
to remember
and celebrate
the good friends
with whom
she had dared
to take
what
in the end
was theirs.

6/18/2003

They
gave me
a hip high
hip to hip
wide
wicker basket
light
and strong
to
drag along
behind me
filling it
with
the acorns
like
a squirrel
I was required
to gather.
They
gave me
a wide brimmed
straw hat
to protect myself
from
the sun
but
there was
a great deal
of bending
then
straightening up
to the job
and
I did get
tired
of that.
It was
however
a once
in a lifetime
effort
that left me
feeling satisfied
when
it was over
and I had
everything
I needed
to move on
with
no more regrets
about
past life
gains
and losses.

6/17/2003

We
sat together
at the end of
the narrow landing
he and I
throughout the day
fishing.
Strolling
hand in hand
away from us
the lovers
never knew
we were there
and they were
caught
but we
threw them back.
Who
do you think
you are
she asked
her friend
sincerely wanting
to know
and
we let them go
too.
I can't help
thinking
he said
much too small
to keep
even if
keeping him
was what
we wanted.
That was
the way
we passed
the time
from daybreak
until the
evening shade
was drawn
sitting
and fishing
neither of us
saying a word
working together
to free
each new catch
after the joy
of
reeling it in
for
a closer look.

6/8/2003

It was a
two person conversation
I dropped in on
no beginning
middle or end
I knew of
but
for those conversing
those rudiments
had to be where
they came from
and
were heading.
I was pleased
passing through
with thoughts
of my own
and feelings
ongoing
to be joined by
something I overheard
of its own volition
the others
never knowing
this curious soul
had assumed a life
different than the one
they had given it.

6/7/2003

I step out
of the cabin
in the swamp
the chitters
of life
at my feet
in the trees
and air
a constant sound.
A gaggle of fears
alive
in my mind
nameless ones
with aliases
grinning hungrily
as they flash
bogus identification
all of them
talking
at once
a deliberate ploy
to keep me
from seeing
the person
they want to confuse
so completely
he doesn't realize
he is the one
who can
turn off the noise.
The swamp
not
a bad place
has been home
for years
but
a distant relative
I never met
loved me from afar
I guess
because
she left me everything
in her will
and now
a better life
awaits
outside the gates
of paradise
which is what
they
call this place
inside my head
where everyone
wears a disguise.
I am growing
and greening
that is what
it is called
thanks to
my unknown benefactor
but
to claim what is mine
I have to
prune the proliferation
of fears
gone wild with desire
to keep me
from
leaving them behind
when I
walk away
from all
we have meant
to
one another.

6/5/2003

They sit
in
shadow light
the music
set in motion
tendrils
holding them
the conversation
of others
nearby
like their own
murmurs
improvisations
by those
intimately engaged
in the effort
to get along
well enough
to get their needs
met
before
the night is over
and
perhaps longer
if love
for the other
can endure
refusing those urges
always eager
to devour newborns.
They have
come this far
a start
on instinct
making sounds that
lead to
dancing
then to
works of genius
in bed
the aftermath of which
remains
to be seen
when
exhausted
the weary
sleep
and dream
such dreams as
may go unnoticed
or
advance the story
begun
such a
short time ago.

6/3/2003

He
drifts in from
off stage
transparent to me
invisible to others
dressed in
a floor length robe
looking like St. Augustine
or Plato
to watch me work
during
the final days
moving eggs
the size of graves
heavy as eternal sleep
fragile as
the promises we keep
carefully
from place to place
without
saying a word
wanting to
let me know
my efforts
have not gone
unnoticed
no matter how
things turn out
and
while I appreciate
the attention
I can see
he has no intention
of saying
I have done well
and
can take off early
which is what
I want to hear.

5/26/2003

Life
in the eye of
a hurricane
is
a mixed blessing
not
a stay at home existence
traveling great distances
in short order
well protected from
would be attackers
but
unable to see
beyond the circle
within which you swirl
aware
danger
is not all
that is
out of reach.
You
bide your time
reading and reflecting
because
the lifespan
of a hurricane
is briefer than
your own
and
when it passes on
you get a chance
to do something
other than
prepare for tomorrow.

5/25/2003

Her
abandoning father
a good man
she says
sat
on a chair
in the corner
while others
socialized
in the center
of the room
in the dream
though gone
from her life
and the world
he is not
forgotten
having come home
at last
with little to offer
he nonetheless
gives it all
to her
his daughter
who says
she will take it
having
some time ago
forgiven him
the
man of mystery
she continues
to fathom
as best she can
from shards
of clues
she has gotten
her hands on
over the years
imagining life
in the interstices
of this man
whose departure
without looking back
shaped her predilection
for poor choices
in men
she says
but is one of
the happiest people
I know.

5/22/2003

They sailed
into the day
on a dream
fully aware
that it
would not last
no caution
cast
to the wind
simply content
and grateful
for
a few minutes
together
in peace
before
the next recognition
of
what must be
tended to.
A good day
at sea
timeless
sailing where
the wind went
with
no expectation
of ending up
anywhere
in particular.

5/21/2003

Everyone
stood around
their eyes
on their feet
their feet
on the ground
just making sure
so many fooled
in spite of
knowing better
into believing
the tooth fairy
was making
substantial deposits
in their personal accounts
for each tooth
that came out
and got dutifully placed
beneath their pillow
before sacking out
at the end
of the day.
Overcome by
one of our
less fine qualities
everywhere you look
you can see
those who
had removed
every tooth
in their head
in anticipation of
a vast
tooth fairy fortune.
It is not easy
to know
who
was fooling
whom
but
there are
a lot more people
now
having trouble
chewing their food.

5/19/2003

Everything
comes around
so often
I am
no longer sure
it matters
where
when
or what
we grab
and
hang on to.
Stacking firewood
early in the morning
I was nearly
driven crazy
by the eight
Canadian geese
walking
flying
landing
repeatedly
honking
at the top
of their voices
too
irrepressibly happy
by the change
in weather.
I
wanted them
to take their celebration
elsewhere
and
leave me in peace
with
the ancient manuscript
I found
beneath the wood pile
in a language
I should not
have understood
but do
and am now
looking forward
to what I believe
will be
a very good read.

5/16/2003

Have to
keep an eye
on myself
going about the business
of dismantling
no
allowing to dissolve
so many misunderstandings
about
what I thought
was real
but is not
sick
to my stomach
one minute
ready to run
the next
recalling
at the last second
this is
what it is like
when
things fall apart
no matter that
you did
everything you could
to precipitate this end.
Not that I think
reality
precludes dreams
or fantasies
and their indispensable capacity
to move us
in the best of
all directions
but
without measure
they steal life
from under one's nose
and
this is a critical time
when
a dangerous imbalance
must be redressed
if there is to be
a chance
to say
in the end
I was glad
I was born
this once
but think
I will skip
going around again.

5/15/2003

Think
I will walk around
today
talk
to a few
helpful strangers
about money
make
a couple lists
of things to do
in preparation
for events upcoming
clean the house
of course
dirty again
check my email
maybe
see if anyone
has written to me
read about
the Dordogne region
in France
the prehistoric caves
with 15,000 year old
paintings
on the walls
fix
my daughter’s lunch
for tomorrow
a favor
because
I know
she will be tired
after being out
late
last night
then
putting in
a long day today
rather than nag her
to do it herself
after
she gets home
while
I make dinner
the two of us
talking throughout
watching tv together
when
she is done
with her homework
before
walking outside
in the dark
to see
the lunar eclipse
in the east
at last
exchanging goodnights
and I love you's
going to bed early
selves satisfied
having made our quota
for another day.

5/12/2003

The
homicide detective
on the case
was putting the pieces
in place.
He was methodical
persistent
and
with a psychic’s
vulnerability
had seen
for
too long
and vividly
the most
heartbreaking work
of which
we are capable.
Unfortunately
he got too close
to the source
of the problem
was
caught off guard
no one watching
his back
and a smack
to the head
he never heard
rendered him
unable
to do his job
ever again.
He dances now
in public
waiting in line
at
the malt shop
on the edge
of the world
with
another investigator
who
like himself
was damaged
beyond
complete repair.
Both know
full well
what
they have lost
but
dance on anyway
in the land of
free enterprise.
If
you are not
up to
such a vision
it is best
you
steer clear of them
but
if you can stand
a glimpse
of her and him
when
the long night
comes
they may
be there
to
see you through it.

5/11/2003

Today
is the day
and
I am afraid
nothing
will come of it
but
I have felt
that way
before
and
expect it to pass.
Did not sleep
well
got up early
told the cats
immediately
the time had come
but
they didn’t seem
to understand.
I am no hero
never have been
just
a stubborn man
tenacious
holding fast to
real things
sometimes
only I could see
until
at last
they materialized
to
considerable disbelief
a relief
to say
I told you so
after
working in the dark
for years
to get the proof
I was not wrong.
The rain
has stopped
the day is
warm
there is light
everywhere
and while
no one knows
how long
this will last
today
is the day
that has
finally come.